Recently, a good friend, commented on a Face Book post that I should write a blog about my experiences with depression. I’m not gonna lie, I’d thought of it a time or two over the years. But I’d never thought I really had all that much to say. And if I’m being really honest, I wasn’t sure I was ready to really “put it all out there”. You know, stand naked with my cloak of depression for the world to see and all.
So, what has changed?
A few things. The most significant was a suicide that has had a profound impact on me. I didn’t know this person, but I know people who loved him and seeing them live with the aftermath of that, hurts – deeply. Secondly, after more than a decade, I’d bitten the bullet and sought out a psychiatrist to help me with my depression, to balance the medications and help me to get to a good place. Lastly, after some unbearable side-effects from these new medications, I’m currently living through the withdrawal symptoms while I titrate up on my new medications. And it’s been pretty horrible. (for more background see here.)
I’m sure there are other things that have brought me here, but I’m here and standing naked (metaphorically of course) for everyone to see. I hope that I’m able to help myself by keeping this journal of my trek. I’m not sure what I’ll write, I’m not sure who will read it, but here I go.