All too familiar

Today, Monday, is World Mental Health Day.  The first I’ve been aware since I’ve been more public about being a person living with depression.  The first as a person who is trying to keep a discussion about mental health alive, open and strong. I’m pretty awed by how today is promoted around the world.  I’m also a little surprised by how little I see going on today here in the US – there’s work to do, lots of work!

I’ve realized, that the work has to start “at home”, with me.  I’ve recognized a few things over the past  week or so, and it turns out my “home” isn’t so in order.  But I feel as if there’s good along with the bad.

The good news is that the withdrawal symptoms are pretty much history!  It was a really difficult physical period of time, but I got through it and they are behind me! Hallelujah!!

The not so good news – The new combo of Wellbutrin and Lamotrigine just isn’t working. Perhaps I’ve been waiting for this, looking for this, did I will it to happen?  Regardless, the first hint is that the lack of motivation has me firmly in its grasp.  I’ve been here before, I know it and I recognize that I need to do something.

The good with the bad is that I feel like I have an option and that my psych and I will get through this.  In the past, I wouldn’t see it, I would live in that safe place of denial until it got bad – really bad.  After experiencing that all too brief period of being Deb again, means that I don’t have to take it, be submissive to it, let it take over my life.  That I can and will do something.  So that that old, all to familiar feeling becomes something of the past.

 

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