Hallelujah!

This song simply kills me – I cannot listen to the original, brilliant Leonard Cohen version or Jeff Buckley’s poignant and gripping version without summoning emotions (many of them, all at once.).  Today, I’ve been singing this song in my head as it feels like the only song that seems appropriate to morn the sweet, older gentleman, Robert Goodwin, Sr. who was brutally, senselessly murdered while being life streamed on social media.  I wrote a post or two about how much this incident has affected me.  There are so many likely equally as gruesome, equally as senseless murders that occur here in the US, that this should have just rolled of our collective shoulders – but this one hit me.  Could it be the horrible visibility it received being first broadcast over Facebook Live and then streamed on every news broadcast around the country? Could it be seeing this REAL crime when we normally see the Hollywood sanitized versions on our small and big screens? Could it be the three or four images of that sweet looking old man who was guilty of nothing more than being in the entirely wrong place at the right time? (in my mind, having just seen the latest Morgan Freeman movie – Going in Style –  I am associating and imposing Mr. Freeman’s lovable character onto Mr. Goodwin).  I honestly don’t have the answers, it just really impacted me.  My friend voiced that she’s not usually an ‘eye for an eye’ type of person, neither am I.  But the killer’s taking of his own life seemed too easy.  Too good for him.

Last week, I got a sense that something ‘wasn’t right’ with my insurance.  I hadn’t received the massive amount of paperwork you receive when your plan becomes live.  The plan details, your ID card, etc – none of it had found its way to my mailbox.  So I called (hey a step in the right direction  – normally during depression episodes I would have hidden from this…delaying what would have surely been bad news.)  I’ll save you from the LONG version, what has happened is that my health plan enrolled me into a “new plan” at the beginning of the year, one that is different from the one I really signed up for and had been applying my premium payments to this imposter plan instead of my real plan.  And of course, once they figured this mess out, they did the natural thing of cancelling me for lack of payment!  A number of phone calls and transfers and re transfers and telling and retelling the same set of details to different people and I’m currently waiting the outcome of a review of the case to see if I can be ‘reinstated’ – even though I made my payments to said insurance company.

A HUGE  PITA.  But more than just that, as other friends and acquaintances have shared their similar experiences, it’s made me realize how screwed up our system of private insurers really is.  I’ve never been supportive of a single payer system – mostly because of the chaos it would create for a painful period of time, not because I was fundamentally opposed to it.  In fact the thought of eliminating what I see as part of the major problem with our ‘sick care system’, the payers who have a practice of reimbursing for the treatment of problems vs. looking organically at the WHOLE problem (we treat conditions not the body as a universe most of the time which leads to the need for multiple specialists and health problems being compounded vs. alleviated.)  Perhaps a single payer could work.  Then I look at the VA system as an example and shake my head again – that doesn’t exactly function well.  Congress, another dysfunctional organization, doesn’t seem willing OR able to even consider this as a prospect, and the likelihood of those boys and girls being able to sit in a room and work out a viable bi-partisian solution, again doesn’t seem too likely.  What do you think on this matter?  I’ve realized that I don’t have a good amount of info other than the examples here in the US and also those from around the world who have this type of a system.  I know there’s bad that comes with the good (and good that comes with the bad as well.)  Help me to understand the pros and cons please.

In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on the results of my ‘review’ in the next post… be well friends.  be good to yourselves and others.  we all could use a little extra kindness these days.

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