I think I was in shock for two years. It took getting through the midterms this week to realize that I was literally in shock for two years. Like I’d been holding my breath for a long, long time.
Wednesday, I was finally able to exhale. Did the election go exactly as I’d hoped? No. But my little California district flipped. For the first time, since we’ve been a city, we are represented by a Democrat. And, while I know she’s not going to be a miracle worker, I feel that I will have a share of my voice heard in Congress.
I feel like my healthcare is not in as much jeopardy as it was even on Monday. I feel like my ability to continue to receive treatment by my psychiatrist isn’t at risk. My medications will still be covered. Yes, its a big exhale!
As I was talking with my father, who is almost diametrically opposed to me when it comes to politics, I realized how much he didn’t understand. I had to break it down to him and tell him that the “bills” the outgoing congressman had sponsored sure made it illegal for insurance companies not to offer me a policy – but it would make it ok for them to not actually COVER any of the treatment associated with my depression. They could exclude my psych visits. They could exclude my meds. Remember how I was Dad 3 years ago – that would be me again. I think I saw a bit of a light bulb shimmer just before he went to vote.
I hope you are also feeling a little bit of a sense of relief, that you are able to exhale a little more deeply today. It doesn’t make Depression any less difficult. Any less ugly to live with. Any easier to live with. But, to me at least, it makes it less scary. Less ambiguous. Less ominous.